Actually, they’re kinda bland till you scoop sugar on ’em.

Tired of being marketed products that under-deliver on promises? Sick of silly advertisements for gimmicky stuff? Hate that you can’t turn on channel 4737 without seeing an infomercial for someone’s bad idea? Then you should buy our book, Damn Heroes, The First One! Or anything by the fine folks at Wayward Raven Media!

-Mark “Sorry I couldn’t resist, it was just too easy”

I prefer a bowl of cookies and milk, or just a plate of bacon.